Thank you

I have decided to change the look of 'The Reality Of A Perfect' life. Rather like a blog birthday I guess for having reached over 3,500 views, which in my eyes is absolutely amazing as I only started this venture 7 months ago. 

I hadn't expected such a great uptake on the blog, and am delighted it's being viewed by so many all over the globe. It is time to take on a more clean, focused look as I am more serious about it now. I realise now that I can really try help people especially parents battling the fight against infantile eczema and I am driven to spread the word. It's how I first came to learn how we could help our little boy, and his life is a hundred times better for it. When I think about the battle we have behind us and the rewards we have reaped I realise how the spread of real-hands on information is so important in a world full of useless tabloids and marketing schemes. My experiences may not help everyone, or have all the answers, but when you are desperate to find out anything, anything at all to help someone you love you feel incredibly elated when someone finally provides a clue as to what you can do. 

I am by no means a medical professional, and do not want to belittle any doctors advice. I appreciate everything our doctor has done for us. I take his advice, but I also use my common sense, and an approach that covers not just medication but also natural healing from the inside out. Some wise words: 

"Let your food be your medicine - let your medicine be your food." -

                                                                           Hippocrates - The 'Father of Medicine'

Modern medicine is great for diagnosing, and sometimes treating, but we can do a lot at home also by learning about what our body needs to be tuned and to work healthily at its peak. I am nearly 30 and think that by the time I reach 35 I will surely have learnt after extensive research and reading what my body needs and how I can feed it so that it's happy and healthy. I aim to encourage my family to do the same. Every individual is different and has different requirements. 

At the moment this blog concentrates mostly on infantile eczema, allergies, and leaky gut syndrome, as these are the main focuses of my life at the moment. I will share my experiences with you and hopefully help anyone that stumbles upon it in need of support, and I will hopefully not bore the rest of ye to tears :) I promise, as the road to Mr. T's health gets easier I will also post other topics. 

I would hereby like to thank anyone that has shared my blog. You are making a real difference. Mr. T has taught us a lot in his little life, and I believe good teachings should be shared. It is you that can make this possible, and with six degrees of separation we will surely be able to help more little babies out there who need our support. 

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart :)

Infantile Eczema - September - Reminders to myself

This is seeming to be a blog simply about infantile eczema.....so apologies if people think I'm ranting on. It's just that it is my primary mission at the moment, and any free time I get I try learn as much as I can about it. I then try relay it here, as just like I found out, when someone else tries and tests stuff before you it can be an immense help, and can save lots of money.

Today I'm going to remind myself, and you...if you are on the same mission about the whole - going detergent free issue. I have realised that due to only having sporadic time to research and read I have forgotten a lot of the important information about what I should be focussing on. I haven't been doing a 100% job when trying to get this house detergent free. Sleep deprivation and lack of being able to concentrate makes for a scatty cleaner :)

Mr. T's condition has improved dramatically since April when I started going detergent free, but I have always struggled to get rid of his outbreaks on his face and neck (front and back). I went back to the drawing board, back to www.solveeczema.org and this time printed out the whole website so I could read it while walking the buggy or cuddling Mr. T. Even though I have read her website at least three times I was never able to focus on it properly. Now I read it through, and highlighted all the bits I wasn't doing. I also got stuck into more literature about it, but that's another blog date. 

So if there's parents out there that are still battling with eczema outbreaks after months of hard work getting rid of detergent in the house, consider these reminders:.... I needed reminding myself :) Thank you to A.J. for all the following information, and please excuse the fact I have been emailing you questions for which the answers are already here. I have been a little frazzled :) 

Please note, the following information is from www.solveeczema.org by A.J. Lumsdaine. Excerpts used with permission. I am simply writing a reminder for myself, and others who may find themselves a little lost and unfocused with the task. 

- One thing that sprung out for me this time is Mr. T's sensitivity to everything around him. Pollen, dust mites, food, animal hair,.... Surely a little boy can't be allergic to everything. 

Solveeczema quote: When our son is exposed to oak tree pollen - which gives him the usual respiratory symptoms - he then breaks out from lower levels of detergent exposure. But absent any detergent exposure, the pollens don't seem to cause him eczema. 

So I stuck Mr. T in the shower, made sure he hadn't come in contact with anything that could have detergent on it. I then tested him. I put coconut oil on one of his hands (he had reacted to that a few months ago) and I put beeswax on his other hand (I wasn't sure if he was sensitive to it or not). Three hours later he was still looking normal, and hadn't reacted to either. So when he had reacted to coconut oil in the past, it was simply because he was exposed to detergent at the time too....phew! thank goodness. Finding real soap or castille soap without coconut in it has been a nightmare over the last few months. So now I'm back to being able to use Dr. Bronners castille soap. Yipee!

- Another thing I have learned is that the detrimental effect that detergent has on the body is made worse in small amounts of water. Hence eczema always being worse where babies sweat. Which explains why when some babies 'grow out' of eczema, they develop asthma. Their skin is less permeable at the age of two than before, but of course the lungs still have to be permeable to leave oxygen in, and contain water vapour, so its rife for detergents to attack. There's motivation for conquering the detergent if ever I saw one! I want my little man to be healed when he's two, not have it develop into asthma. 

- I have also learned, rereading the site that I have to be more specific everytime I see a breakout. I hadn't yet written a diary on when breakouts happen. I felt I could remember myself, and who has time to write a diary with a little girl and a baby in the house.... I am now going to start taking written notes. I need to use the clues Mr. T is giving me. They seem random, but when written down I'm hoping the picture will become clearer.  A list of probable causes like A.J. says, then eliminate or test each probable cause and write them down too. 

- I am also using any free time to google ingredients in products that I keep seeing but am unsure of. I am creating a list of 'not good' and 'good' ingredients. I have a notebook now for notes and ingredients so its all together. 

- It also seems that barrier creams, not moisturising creams are more effective. Terminology is different in different countries as what comes under the heading barrier or moisturiser, but the creams like Aquaphor, or Vaseline seem to work better as they protect the skin rather than absorb into it. This of course is only true if you are sure that there is no detergent on the skin before putting them on. I use itchybaby balm as Aquaphor is not available here, and I only put it on after Mr. T has a bath as then I'm sure there's no detergent dust on him that may get trapped. From our own experiences it seems to be better than the moisturising creams. Even the gentle zeoderm moisturising cream that was natural seemed to be too 'strong' for his sensitive skin,  and Mr. T had a horrifying reaction to the emollient prescribed by the specialist we went to see. I can still remember him shaking and screaming with pain. Here in Ireland Infantile eczema is stated as being random, unknown cause, unknown cure. The fact it may be detergent related to the extent that I have learned is not even considered. Maybe this is why emollient moisturisers are still being prescribed as opposed to questions asked beforehand whether the child is sensitive to detergents. I stay away from such prescriptions now as long as his sores aren't infected, and use the balm above or sudocreme if he scratches himself to bleeding point on his cheeks or neck. 

- Mr. T seems to be allergic to everything, but on solveeczema I realised he may not be allergic to a specific food, but rather the environment it was made and packaged in. With this statement I am by no means encouraging you to take risks with your childs health, I am only stating my own personal experiences and what I am doing. I feel that as Mr. T's parent I am making the correct decisions based on the knowledge I have learnt in the last year about his illness, and also using common sense and a high respect for the allergies he does have. Obviously you always have to follow the advice and warnings given by your doctor. Nonetheless I have decided to look at the matter from a different angle, maybe some of his more 'normal' allergies could be investigated.  

The dairy and egg allergies that Mr. T has cause a reaction that is so severe that I am  too afraid to investigate these, but little at a time when I know there is no detergent around him I am going to try anew to see what he is really allergic too. I have to think about it all, all the steps of the food he eats. Where it is grown, by whom, with fertilisers and pesticides? What pot is it cooked in? What is it stored in?  Organic doesn't matter, it only has to be 79% organic apparently to be stated organic. Water is classed as organic, so as an example, if something contains 79% water, all other ingredients could be detergent/non organic/synthetic additives but it is still allowed to be called organic. The best bet is to have your own vegetable plot and grow your own organically and process it in your detergent free home. Luckily I have the luxury of being able to do this as our vegetable garden is a hobby of mine that I am hoping to get back into in the spring. 

- I have been looking up ingredients online of products I have found in our health food shop, and have been baffled trying to figure out what is a detergent and what not. I have also been trying to understand surfactants on a molecular level, and it's all a bit mind boggling. First I thought that anything anionic may be safe, but it's not that simple. Only traditional anionic SOAP is safe. Detergents can be made from plant, animal, and petrochemicals. So the whole family of 'plant based surfactants' is still not suitable for our mission. Looking at the products available, there's not much left to choose from, but in a way that's ok. Thank goodness there's such thing as castile soap!

- One of the places Mr. T still have breakouts is his neck. I hadn't realised that synthetic combinations in collars of clothes don't have to be labeled, so I am also going to write down what tops he is wearing when he has a breakout. All his clothes are made of organic cotton now, but maybe the collars are not! Crazy. I also have to try and keep his cheeks and neck dryer, as I have to try stop the increase in permeability that happens when his skin is wet. 

- I have also been giving Mr. T porridge and baby food from packets occasionally. I am now in the process of reading John O.A. Pagano's book "Healing Psoriasis" and it is also an amazing find. Even though Mr. T has eczema, not psoriasis, Mr. Pagano makes a clear link between the two. I am hoping to find out as soon as possible what way I can help Mr. T's condition from the inside out, and then either get the veg out of our organic vegetable garden or an organic stall at the farmers market. I am trying to get away from processed, packaged foods. Lets face it, even the most freshest, organic veg you can buy in a mega superstore probably rolls down shoots that have been scrubbed with disinfectant and detergents, and come from warehouses that have been scrubbed with detergents and have people around them that wear detergents. Our garden is the best bet, and a farmers market with local organic stalls is the second best option. I then want to make Mr. T's solids in our detergent free kitchen, in bulk, and then freeze. In pots that are BPA free....complicated! :) I have also been advised to use ice cube trays, good idea!

- Another problem I am faced here when going the anti-detergent route is lots of people visiting and lots of people in 'farm' clothes coming into the house for lunch. I have been trying to combat this problem in several ways, but now that Mr. T is crawling, I can see that his contact eczema is worse on his hands. ie. there is still detergent being brought in and left on the floor. Farm dirt is usually 'safe' dirt like soil, but when pollen or other allergens stick to their clothes its very hard to pinpoint the cause of a reaction and how to treat it so for now I'm playing it safe. I have gotten two storage boxes, one for 'house' clothes, and one for 'outdoor' clothes, and put them in our hallway for people to change into. People that don't live here currently sit on a plastic chair in the sitting room that I can easily wipe down,...even if it seems a little unsociable :) Generally I clean the floor and seat after people leave but it's easy to get lost with this regime when something else important has to be done at the time. If they stay a day or two they get sent to the shower straightaway and I give them my clothes to wear. Poor Mr. T was getting a little affected at the lack of socialising with other kids due to being a bit isolated so now I take him to the playground once a week where he has a ball.  He's an adrenalin junkie with the slide already :) It's healthy 'dirt' thats there, and though he gets the odd reaction to something there, he is generally happy and as soon as we come home I stick him and his sister in the bath.

- Finally, it has been very hard to find some detergent free products here in Ireland. Many companies like Cal Ben don't ship to Ireland. I'm using a bar of olive oil soap for hand washing dishes at the moment and can't seem to find a trustworthy alternative.. I looked up a recipe on how to make some myself with castile soap, but I wasn't impressed. I am still on the lookout, if anyone has any ideas, please shout. Ecover is not an option at this point as it contains detergents. I have emailed them and they replied saying detergents are not actually as harmful as many people think. I think I won't argue with them, Mr. T's case is proof enough for me. Marketing officials are obviously on their own mission. 

         There is hope that Mr. T will become less sensitive to detergents. I know this is definitely his number one problem. Some people may think I'm crazy doing all this when doctors here don't seem to see it mainstream, and it is such hard work. Or that I am crazy for following one website so closely and believing every word. Well solveeczema just puts it all together, and her research is well founded, and similar evidence can be found everywhere online. Also I know that if I put Mr. T into a normal baby suit, washed with normal "hypoallergenic, for sensitive skin" detergent he would flare up and become upset and disturbed, and his skin would be covered in itchy sores. I am working off what works for him, and I can see he is happier and healthier this way. My aim is to have a happy baby boy that can play and move as any other, and that doesn't have to worry about having weeping elbows or calves when he is trying to crawl. 

So here lie a few reminders that seem plain and easy, but I still have to brush up on them. There is still a missing link to Mr. T's eczema, and I am determined to find it. Although his legs are sometimes still itchy, his body (the areas that are covered by his sleepsuit and clothes) has brilliant skin now. Baby soft and kissable :) There must still be contact detergents in my house somewhere. His cheeks, and neck are still flaring up at least every 36 hours.  Mission not completed yet,....but it's not mission impossible :)

Please note: I am not qualified as a medical practicioner. My views and opinions on this blog are due to my own experiences and information I have received. By no means do I encourage any parent to take risks with their child or go against their doctors wishes. My actions are due to my own decisions and as far as I am concerned I am doing the best for my child with the knowledge I have. 

Infantile Eczema - July 2013

It’s been a while since I last entered a post in this blog, so apologies to anyone wondering how our progress with the eczema is going. 

We have been experiencing a heat wave here in Ireland for the last month! Ireland without rain for a month is really not the Ireland we are used to. I’m not complaining though :) It’s been the best summer in decades I’d say. A little rain woudn’t go astray now for the plants, but I’m sure we’ll get it sooner rather than later. 

I’m still trying to research and learn as much about the eczema as I can, but time has been very limited and myself and Tom are utterly exhausted. I haven’t gotten much further with my book regarding how eczema and psoriasis affect the gut and stomach, and how to treat it with food, I’ve also gotten tips from others regarding hemp oil, black cumin seed oil, neem oil, and different strains of probiotics more specific to eczema but I will be researching it as much as time will allow. I was hoping to have more progress and information in my next post, I know anyone out there in our situation would appreciate it, but I can only blog at rare occasions. When you are so sleep deprived and need information that’s not readily available it’s handy when someone can put it together in one place.... Apologies, I will post the info as soon as possible.

Mr. T’s current state is slightly confusing. In his eight months he has never been 36 hours breakout free on his face. March and the beginning of April were by far the worst months for him, he barely had skin on his thighs and elbows, his cheeks were a weeping infected mess and the rest of his body was red, itchy, scaly, and soft skin only existed on his chin. In March we realised that he was not only just lactose intolerant, but actually allergic to dairy. The continuous vomiting ceased to that of a baby that simply has a bit of reflux, but we still had the eczema to contend with. I then discovered www.itchybaby.co.uk which changed all our lives. I cried when I read it, and we went full throttle ahead doing what the lady on the website did. Eliminating chemicals, detergents, and allergens. It’s taken lots of hard work, help from some amazing people, personal sacrifices and stamina, and a hefty electricity bill from two months of SAFE non stop clothes and fabric washing. Now, it’s the middle of July and Mr. T’s torso looks normal most days. He has skin on his elbows, thin - but it’s there and it’s soft. He doesn’t have any infected areas anymore. He still itches, I can’t leave him naked, or leave any skin showing except for his head and hands as otherwise he’ll scratch, so we’ve not conquered all detergents just yet. At night he still has to wear scratchsleeves, but at least he can now (sometimes) sleep in his own cot. Last month that wasn’t possible at all as you would have to restrain him all the time and block his hands from his face and block one leg when it tried scratching the other. His head used to always turn left, right, left, right in an attempt to itch it off anything he came in contact with, but he only does that now when he gets irritated. His body from the neck down looks and feels normal most days now. His neck and face and back of his neck still flare up at least every two days, usually everyday. He is definately looking a lot better, and feeling a lot better though. But I remember reading on one of the websites that it takes four months to get detergent out of ones home. We are now three months in. This week Mr. T went 36 hours without a flare up on his cheeks, so we are getting progress. I just still have some detective work to do.

One of the factors why I think Mr. T hasn’t recovered as fast as I had hoped is probably down to Miss J’s birthday party. There was a lot of people in and out of the house wearing detergent and allergens. When they sat on the couch they left the detergent residue, and the lint off their clothes floated around in the air. We didn’t leave anyone that hadn’t used safe products hold him, but he was still itchy and irritated for a week after as I tried as hard as I could with Astrid’s help to get the house safe again. It was an absolutely great day for Miss J, and she needed it, especially seeing as the last few months have been very hard on her aswell, but we have decided we won’t be having any gatherings or parties until Mr. T is better. Birthday parties will have to be on other premises and Mr. T will have to stay at home. 

In the last few weeks Mr. T has had several breakouts. I'll share them with you, maybe then you can keep an eye out for the same triggers with your little baby
One day, while making egg mayo I gave him a hard boiled egg in its shell to hold. I know he can’t eat eggs, but I didn’t think holding one would be an issue. I was wrong. I noticed that he started rubbing his palms off his thighs and got very irritated and grumpy. The rubbing became frantic and I had a look at his hands. They had swollen slightly, and were burning red with white bumps on them. He had touched his face and chin and that was also looking burnt red in patches. I washed him straight away which took the edge off the itching and then with some cuddles he was finally a little more settled. Poor little fella.

The second allergen was wheat. Sleep deprived and not thinking, I gave him a rusk biscuit. His hands flared up again, and the bumps also appeared on his neck where the crumbs and slobber had fallen. Again, I stuck a very irritated and whimpering Mr. T into the bath and then washed it off and then he was better. 

Mr. T after his wheat reaction. Hives and bumps not visible in image.

The same then happened when I was out one day and Tom had been mowing the lawn. He had changed his clothes, but had forgotten to wash his arms and Mr. T then had a reaction to his arm when he was held. I'm guessing it was due to pollen.
Another trigger is shopping bags. I returned from food shopping, and put the bags on the floor. Usually Mr. T doesn't go near them, but getting more inquisitive he decided to shuffle over. He got a reaction from the shopping bags and groceries in them. I should have been more careful as I know that warehouses, shops and delivery vans are full of grime and detergents.
The latest outbreak he had was from the couch covers. Mid heat wave a baby with severe eczema can get very irritated so we thought we'd change getting Mr. T naked and letting him play on the couch. We have covered our couch with homemade organic cotton couch covers, which I was once a week but this was a Sunday. Two days before it was due to be washed, and he got an itchy allergic looking reaction to the covers. In 5 days the covers had attracted enough detergent and grime from people's clothes to give him a reaction. Poor little fella was showered and cuddled again.

It’s incidents like this that slow down the healing process of the skin. I understand that the skin needs two months without a breakout to fully heal all its layers and become skin that is more resilient to breakouts. When thinking of this fact we still have a long way to go, but with the progress we have seen in the last two months I am confident that we will get there. Once the skin is outbreak free for two months we can stop worrying so much and work on hardening him up a little for the future. 

Mr. T's couch cover outbreak. His face, belly & body red.

Mr. T's couch outbreak on his back.

About 6 weeks ago we also started taking Mr. T to an acupuncturist that was recommended to us by several people and that has a 90% success rate with eczema in babies. The practices the old type of acupuncture and looks at birth charts aswell. With someone Mr. T's age, he doesn't use needles, he uses acupressure. It seems to be working slowly but surely. I will keep you posted as the weeks go by. 

When it comes to combating the detergent and allergens in the house I am still on a full time war schedule with cleaning. I will share my cleaning schedule with you in case it helps you come up with one yourself...you never know. Do whatever works for you, but this is what works for us:

By the way, by deep cleaning I mean: everything off shelves and surfaces, dust, steam clean, hoover & wash any fabrics. I usually work my way around the room and if there's too many surfaces/cupboards to tackle one day then I do as much as I can and do the rest the next week. To wipe surfaces I alternate between a homemade soapnut spray or a vinegar & lemon juice spray.  

Sunday: Catch up cleaning & family time

Monday: Deep clean Miss J’s bedroom & general house clean

Tuesday: Deep clean sitting room, strip couch covers & wash, Clean high chair and walker. 
Wednesday: Deep clean stairs, recycling area, and hallway. General house clean. Hoover car & wipe down interior - (for Mr. T going to acupuncture on Thursdays)
Thursday: Deep clean kitchen, general house clean
Friday: Deep clean bathroom & utility room, general house clean. 
Saturday: Deep clean bedroom & family time

As well as this I regularily wash all of Miss J’s cuddly toys and dress up dresses so the dust and allergens don’t settle on them. I also get her to wash up her tea set every fortnight or so - she loves it. 

All I do at the moment is clean, cook, and make sure the kids are happy and get some play time and some one on one time too. Astrid and Fabiano our friends are an immense help, it is so important to have people that can lend a hand. I could never manage it all myself. Tom would have to stop working if I had to do this all by myself. I have gone into self preservation mode and stopped doing anything else like photography, gardening or socialising but I don't mind. I am much happier preserving my energy and focusing on this period of life at the moment, and I know that in 6 months time things will be a lot easier and I can do things for myself again. Right now it's making me happier to concentrate on Mr. T's improvement and Miss J's happiness, alongside keeping Tom and myself strong. As I  said to Tom, it won't be forever. I am confident we can battle this. We have already conquered the eczema on his torso. I am now on a mission to conquer the general itch, and to continue to conquer to breakouts on his neck and head. We can see a massive change on his body, and a definite improvement on his head, that's what keeps us going..... :)

Mr. T before starting anti detergent process....

...Mr. T before starting anti detergent process

Mr. T now, still has eczema as you can see but no more scaly, sore skin.

Good luck to all ye fellow eczema parents, stay strong! x