Hey guys :) Well, it's summer! I'm loving it. It's gone from being a beautiful winter to being a beautiful summer. Yipee!
With summer coming along Mr. T has been spending more time outside in nice weather which generally would suggest that his skin is also slightly better due to not being inside in heated rooms or outside in gale force winds. On the grander scale of things this is probably true. Six months ago he did look worse, but I think the herbalist that I am going to see also has a lot to do with any improvement. Unfortunately there hasn't been much improvement past the fact that his cheeks are just less 'angry' looking. We seem to have come up to a stumbling block yet again. A month ago when I saw the inflamed red patches calming on his cheeks I was really hoping this was the start of the next step.
I am still continuing with the herbalist treatment, in one way I am afraid to stop. I guess we'll see what another month brings. It's one of the most difficult aspects of severe infantile eczema. It's also a big waiting game, one that taxes both your body and mental state in the process.
This update will also include a message for other mothers and fathers out there trying to cope with this. Look after yourself in every free moment you can get, and try be good to yourself! I learned my lesson over Easter, a month ago;
After a year and a half of struggle with Mr. T, trying to help his skin stay on his body, not get infections, get the correct foods, have emotional support, keeping the family running and the house detergent/allergen free my body finally decided it had enough of being pushed and pushed and made me listen to it and stop.
I have suffered from cardiac arrhythmia since 2011, but there are times when it gets worse like during pregnancy, when I don't drink enough water, when I exercise too much, and when I consume alcohol or caffeine. Well last month it was getting worse and worse and then one day it went scarily crazy. My rhythm was skipping and hopping, with pauses that made me cough and gasp, beats that felt so strong it was like they were going to jump out of my chest. I got stabbing chest pains in my chest, a heavy feeling like I had concrete blocks sitting on my rib cage, and a headache like someone was pouring hot water over my head. I was grocery shopping and had to gasp for air while clutching my chest when I decided OK, enough was enough, I have to listen to myself. I always pushed myself harder and harder, knowing that in reality one has more left in the tank than one thinks, well, I think this was the end of my tank.
I text Tom and said I needed to get home, and once I got there I wouldn't be able to do anything. Once I got home I went to bed, darkness, regular breathing, no talking, and lying on my right hand side seemed to calm it down. Three hours later my heartbeat regulated somewhat. The next morning I went to the doctor who said I should have gone to A&E the day before, well to tell you the truth, A&E didn't even enter my mind. All I wanted was bed, rest and darkness. Diagnosis: Exhaustion. Over the next week my heart wouldn't let me do much. Climbing the stairs left me shattered, simply being awake for three hours had my arrhythmia going mad again. Chest pains, pressure, and headaches were unnerving.
Well it has taken me a month of extra rest to recover from this (thank you Tom, Mum & Chloe), which was followed by a bladder infection, throat infection, and cold. I am also going to see more specialists to see if there's any fibrillation going on, which would be a little more sinister.
Now I am just left with a hoarse voice and a cough but I'm nearly better. The cardiac arrhythmia is a condition that I might have for life, but I now know that when it plays up I need to just give myself a little love and stop to think that if I keep going to the point of collapse I will be no good to my kids or family either, so take it slower!
A burn out as they call it, physical and mental collapse due to exhaustion, if you want to call it that, also has emotional problems. In the last month I have been unable to be as strong as usual when Mr. T has a break out, or when I have to explain to someone about his condition. Where before I was able to speak and act with motherly strength and confidence, I now crumble and cry. This too though will improve with time as I tell myself it will all be OK. We are lucky that Mr. T is not terminally ill, or in a hospital etc. On the grander scale of things he is suffering less now than he was this time last year. We should be proud of that.
If there are parents out there on the same venture as us, please take a moment. It is so difficult to take a few minutes to yourself, especially when you think there must be something more I can do to help my little one, what's the missing link? Well even if you haven't found the missing link, remember you need to listen to your own body too. Without you your child wouldn't be getting the love and care it needs. Be kinder to yourself! It is difficult to sometimes remember that you ARE really trying your best. It is not your fault, and you are not a failure as a parent. The road on this journey is tough, but you need to be ABLE to be there for them, truly, from the heart. Not just in a zombified state of mind that is merely functioning to upkeep your efforts and survive yourself. Someday it might catch up on you. Give yourselves a pat on the back, or a hug.
Ye deserve it :)
With summer coming along Mr. T has been spending more time outside in nice weather which generally would suggest that his skin is also slightly better due to not being inside in heated rooms or outside in gale force winds. On the grander scale of things this is probably true. Six months ago he did look worse, but I think the herbalist that I am going to see also has a lot to do with any improvement. Unfortunately there hasn't been much improvement past the fact that his cheeks are just less 'angry' looking. We seem to have come up to a stumbling block yet again. A month ago when I saw the inflamed red patches calming on his cheeks I was really hoping this was the start of the next step.
I am still continuing with the herbalist treatment, in one way I am afraid to stop. I guess we'll see what another month brings. It's one of the most difficult aspects of severe infantile eczema. It's also a big waiting game, one that taxes both your body and mental state in the process.
This update will also include a message for other mothers and fathers out there trying to cope with this. Look after yourself in every free moment you can get, and try be good to yourself! I learned my lesson over Easter, a month ago;
After a year and a half of struggle with Mr. T, trying to help his skin stay on his body, not get infections, get the correct foods, have emotional support, keeping the family running and the house detergent/allergen free my body finally decided it had enough of being pushed and pushed and made me listen to it and stop.
I have suffered from cardiac arrhythmia since 2011, but there are times when it gets worse like during pregnancy, when I don't drink enough water, when I exercise too much, and when I consume alcohol or caffeine. Well last month it was getting worse and worse and then one day it went scarily crazy. My rhythm was skipping and hopping, with pauses that made me cough and gasp, beats that felt so strong it was like they were going to jump out of my chest. I got stabbing chest pains in my chest, a heavy feeling like I had concrete blocks sitting on my rib cage, and a headache like someone was pouring hot water over my head. I was grocery shopping and had to gasp for air while clutching my chest when I decided OK, enough was enough, I have to listen to myself. I always pushed myself harder and harder, knowing that in reality one has more left in the tank than one thinks, well, I think this was the end of my tank.
I text Tom and said I needed to get home, and once I got there I wouldn't be able to do anything. Once I got home I went to bed, darkness, regular breathing, no talking, and lying on my right hand side seemed to calm it down. Three hours later my heartbeat regulated somewhat. The next morning I went to the doctor who said I should have gone to A&E the day before, well to tell you the truth, A&E didn't even enter my mind. All I wanted was bed, rest and darkness. Diagnosis: Exhaustion. Over the next week my heart wouldn't let me do much. Climbing the stairs left me shattered, simply being awake for three hours had my arrhythmia going mad again. Chest pains, pressure, and headaches were unnerving.
Well it has taken me a month of extra rest to recover from this (thank you Tom, Mum & Chloe), which was followed by a bladder infection, throat infection, and cold. I am also going to see more specialists to see if there's any fibrillation going on, which would be a little more sinister.
Now I am just left with a hoarse voice and a cough but I'm nearly better. The cardiac arrhythmia is a condition that I might have for life, but I now know that when it plays up I need to just give myself a little love and stop to think that if I keep going to the point of collapse I will be no good to my kids or family either, so take it slower!
A burn out as they call it, physical and mental collapse due to exhaustion, if you want to call it that, also has emotional problems. In the last month I have been unable to be as strong as usual when Mr. T has a break out, or when I have to explain to someone about his condition. Where before I was able to speak and act with motherly strength and confidence, I now crumble and cry. This too though will improve with time as I tell myself it will all be OK. We are lucky that Mr. T is not terminally ill, or in a hospital etc. On the grander scale of things he is suffering less now than he was this time last year. We should be proud of that.
If there are parents out there on the same venture as us, please take a moment. It is so difficult to take a few minutes to yourself, especially when you think there must be something more I can do to help my little one, what's the missing link? Well even if you haven't found the missing link, remember you need to listen to your own body too. Without you your child wouldn't be getting the love and care it needs. Be kinder to yourself! It is difficult to sometimes remember that you ARE really trying your best. It is not your fault, and you are not a failure as a parent. The road on this journey is tough, but you need to be ABLE to be there for them, truly, from the heart. Not just in a zombified state of mind that is merely functioning to upkeep your efforts and survive yourself. Someday it might catch up on you. Give yourselves a pat on the back, or a hug.
Ye deserve it :)
 |
| Mr. T :) |
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